Blood-suckin' Misery

Three months ago, I sat in a cafe @ Dataran Pahlawan, Malacca wif my friend Mei Chern. She put her hand on my arm n' said: “I hev 2 tell u about these books I’m readin'. I’m addicted; they’re 4 teenagers really...” n' as soon as she said that my perception of her changed. Call me shallow, but I pass judgment on people based on thingz like da books they read, da music they like, da holidays they take, n' da food they eat.

“What da hell was tis beautiful gurl, who is alwayz very busy wif home work, doin' readin' pulpy, teenage-romance novels?” was da question tat circled round my mind as she spoke.

“U should read them,” said Mei, givin' my arm a little squeeze.

I din read them. In fact, I forgot all about them, until a few weeks ago, when I bumped into Yi May, a mutual friend of mine and Mei’s, at JJ. (I was shopping for skul-related study books.)

“Hev you seen tis?” she asked wavin' a DVD in front on my eyes: “Twilight”.

“Oh my god, you’re not into that as well?” I said rememberin' my conversation with Mei from months ago.

“I’m addicted,” said Yi May. “It’s about this guy Edward; he’s a vampire.” I looked at Yi May and said nothing.

“U’re not into it, are you?” she said, a look of sadness in her eyes.

“No, may be coz I'm a guy” I said. “But Mei is".

Last weekends, I took the day off from studyin' (by da way my skul was quarantined for 7 days) and went wif these two friends to Stadium Tun Fatimah for a mornin jog (my parents was there too ><).

“I have started doin' quick revision rather bein' too detailed on da subject, so that I can escape back into my own world wif Edward,” said Yi May.

“I’ve hidden da books in da bathroom: it’s da only place I ever get a chance to read,” said Mei.

“My borfriend knows something is going on. He can see I’m excited about something,” said Yi May.

“Edward would never treat me da way my BF treats me,” said Yi May. “In da morning, he only kisses me good-bye for show. He kisses infront of his frienz, so he kisses me, because that’s the thing to do. It means nothing.”

“Edward’s not real,” I shouted as I wondered how meaningful a good-bye kiss in the morning should be (at da same time protectin guyz right, hahax.... come on, not every man are heartless, I know him coz I'm very close to him). Presumably her BF leaves her to go 2 his own skul every morning as part of his routine and so, in that respect, the kiss is just another part of the ritual, as are a lot of thingz in life: but does that make them meaningless? What is this meaning that Yi May wants to extract from a good-bye kiss? Perhaps it is because my own life is so devoid of meaning that I cannot even understand her complaint.

“You have to read the books,” they both shouted at me.

“Why, would I do that?” I asked. “I am happy at the moment. These book have made you two despise your BF. You’re both unhappy, whereas me, I’m quite content with my imperfect life and my imperfect maid who never remembers to buy milk. If I start reading the books, the forgotten milk is going to take on a significance that it does not have, and I will become miserable.”

“I’m seriously considering leaving my BF,” said Yi May.

“What, because he does not measure up to a vampire?” I said.

And, that is the trouble witf modern life. We hev succumbed to da belief that we are entitled to 24/7 happiness. Gone are da days when people endured life, pinning all their hopes on a happier existence in the after life. Now, we demand instant gratification. And in doing so often make ourselves miserable: our self-esteem plummeting as we fail at happiness.

“Look,” I said. “You should forget about your BF. He is not actively cruel to you, so just let him get on with life, meanwhile you should look at yourself. Imagine how you are going to feel if you chuck your BF out only to discover that you are still not happy.”

"If I'm ur BF, I can't understand ur problem too, u need to tell him, n' tat is wat relationship is it's based on trust 2 each other"